A Very Immortal Christmas
by DracoWombat
Summary: Sophie is sobbing, and Tsagaglalal finds a way to cheer her up. Imagine the very disturbing and funny idea of all the Immortals, enemies in the past, now sitting around together for Christmas dinner! Now Aunt Agnes must find a way of making sure everyone behaves, all while the guests go gift shopping together! Watch as every cute Christmas cliché comes true in this story. Read&Rev!
1. Super Sad Sophie

**Hey! This story is set after the Enchantress, so it's very spoilery. [Spoilers Ahead] Sophie has 10.000 years by now, and Josh is slightly younger, because he can skip through the boring years. Billy, Machiavelli, Black Hawk lived, and the Flamels went into hiding. There's going to be a lot more characters than in the description.**  
**AND OF COURSE I don't own anything. Otherwise, clichéd happy endings for everyone!**

Tsagaglalal walked towards the room that now belonged to her adopted niece, as she heard the wailing sound of sobs. It was typical of Sophie to sob recently. The poor girl was similar to Gilgamesh in that aspect; He never wished for immortality, as opposed to Tsagaglalal, who used to cherish hers. "

"Sophie, may I come in?" The older woman asked

"Yes" She said between sobs

The small bedroom was filled with books that were older than civilization, and tokens from millennia before the city of San Francisco even existed. An object that claimed attention was a copper-bound book inside a glass box. The book that she ought to protect long ago, longer than most human minds would process. The Book of Abraham the Mage, that for her, was the last reminder of her husband. Well, maybe not the last. The scarab beetle in her necklace certainly came from him"

"Sophie Newman, what has gotten into you _this time_?"

"Do not call me that. You know very well that the name Newman was all a lie. A lie. That's what everything before Flamel was, and even some things after! And because of that idiotic prophecy I had to live through this, for my brother, for you, for my so-called _immortal friends_, for my duty alongside the humans" Tsagaglalal noted that the girl refused to use the word humani

"Sophie, people care about you. Me, your brother, and your _immortal friends_ like Scathach, Machiavelli and Shakespeare, and even Virginia. You can't use the argument of loneliness."

"It's Christmas" The girl said

Tsagaglalal caught her nod. There was little point in celebrating Christmas when they would always mean the same thing. A day that would come up an uncountable number of times, that would become gradually less special as her family, friends and acquaintances wither. But this time it was different. This time was different from the other 10.077 Christmases she had to endure. It was 2007's Christmas. She had immortal acquaintances, friends, and even a family member.

"What about we do this, dear; We invite Scathach and a few of her friends, maybe even your brother, to a dinner in here! They're all Immortal and, as such, you shall not have to worry about their losses"

"That sounds good" The girl smiled a little "Now the scarab"

Tsagaglalal handed her the emerald scarab beetle she wore on the neck. Sophie stood up, and a silver aura flowed from her body to the jewel, storing a day of life in it. She was immortal, so it did not affect her lifespan, and maintained Tsagaglalal's immortality as long as the woman wore it.

* * *

**I'm going to continue this story, definitely!**


	2. Spreading the News

Scathach answered her phone. It has been a tiresome evening, since the Dark Elders hadn't exactly left the Earth alone after the battle for San Francisco. To make things more complicated, she was housing Billy the Kid and the Italian, who were being searched by Quetzalcoatl (She owned a debt of sorts to Billy, but had no fondness whatsoever for Machiavelli). In the other line, the voice she came to attribute to She Who Watches spoke. She told her that Sophie was suffering and needed some friends over and something about Christmas dinner. It was laughable. Sophie couldn't be so disgruntled, could she?

"Scatty, what are you talking about?" Billy asked. His curiosity what'd never been good for him, but she guessed he would want to know, or maybe even attend.

"It's Sophie. She's been lonely recently, and apparently Tsagaglalal..." Billy cowered slightly at the name of the ancient She Who Watches "...thinks it would do her some good to celebrate this Christmas"

"Count me in. But if we're going to do this, we have to do it big. As in invite-every-good-guy kind of big. Do you know the phone number of Joan and Francis?"

* * *

"Maybe we could use that Mount Tamalpais leygate" Joan said "It's not like Sophie never helped any of us. I think she matters a little more than your's, Will's and Palamedes' drinking nights"

"They're not drinking nights! The last time we met we were trying to fight for Danu Talis alongside a hook-handed man. I think we earned the right to do some catching up!" Francis said, slightly infuriated

"I have an idea. Why don't you invite them. The Flamels most likely died, so there isn't much Palamedes can complain about"

* * *

"THEY WANT US TO WHAT?!"

"Palamedes, you're yelling" Will said

"He's what? By the way you_ are _taking a bath this time" Said Francis on the other line of the phone

"Come on, Palamedes. It's not the end of the world, and since the Flamels are missing there won't be anybody you really hate there" Will shrugged

* * *

Virginia Dare tilted her head. How odd, Shakespeare and Palamedes buying airplane tickets? To San Francisco, out of all places? Something fishy was going on. The Notre Dame leygate had been activated too. Both ocurrences led her to believe something was happening on San Francisco. Sadly, she did not have the power to open up a leygate, nor did she want to buy an airplane ticket and leave a trail to all the myriad Elders who wanted her head (Or, more specifically, _her memories_, on a plate). But she _did _have another option. Quickly, she turned her head to a mirror hanging in Doctor Dee's old office (Yes, she inherited Enoch Enterprises, Dee's old company). Then she repeated _the name._ Thrice, and he came.

"You _could _take that awful hood off sometimes, couldn't you?"

"You can't just call me like that" Josh Newman said

"I need to be on San Francisco quickly"

"And what do you think I am? Cosmic taxi?"

"I suppose you're not aware of your sister's little party, are you?"


	3. Aoife

Virginia Dare waited outside of the airport. She could have waited at Mount Tam, but decided she would draw less attention here. She was wearing a simple black dress and sunglasses, and had her flute in her pocket just in was the time Shakespeare and the Saracen Knight should've been here, but knowing planes, they probably had to delay the flight due to London's terrible weather or something. As a mistress of air magic, she could've easily changed said weather, but, in case the Bard and the Knight showed any hostility, she had been saving her aura. After a few minutes of small talk with Josh (She refused to call him by any other name, much like with the Doctor), however, she saw Will walking out of a doorway, and Palamedes carrying all the stuff, a little later.

"Did he _actually _take a bath?" Josh seemed genuinely surprised

"He doesn't normally?" Virginia said, genuinely disgusted "He did not take a bath for over _300_ years?"

Josh took a card with _Will and Pally Bard_. Couldn't they have found a less revealing surname? Even from afar, though, she saw Palamedes flinch at his nickname.

"Mar...Mareth..." Will started stuttering a little, slightly scared by his presence

"I may be dead, but you can still call me Josh"

"And who is she?" Palamedes said, skeptic

"Nobody important"

"_Excuse me? _I am Virginia Dare, Mistress of the Air, in case you didn't know" As she said those words, the air outside the airport turned foggy. Since it was San Francisco, nobody cared.

"Did you really feel like blowing your cover, using your aura? Quetzalcoatl would love to feed on your memories as an appetizer to Billy's" Josh said, disgruntled.

The four walked towards Virginia's company's limousine. Yes, she was rich. She alone inherited not only all of Dee's money, his company and his prized possessions, but also all of his estate, which included Alcatraz (They were waiting for all the monsters to be eaten by Areop-Enap so they could place the island in public domain again).

Meanwhile, on Alcatraz, Scatty, Billy and a much annoyed Machiavelli waited at Mount Tamalpais. Joan and Germain appeared a few seconds afterwards, carrying two relatively small bags. Joan and Scathach hugged and caught up with each other, leaving Francis, Billy and Machiavelli in a moment of awkward silence, until Francis decided to break into a discussion about country music with Billy, leaving an even more annoyed Mac. _I should have called Black Hawk to drive us_, he thought. He may not be much more responsible than Billy, but at least he wasn't as keen in putting their lives at risk. Or at least, Machiavelli's life. He didn't know much about the Shadow's auric capabilities. And not knowing scared him.

Truth be told, Niccolo hated having to spend time with the Shadow. She may not be as irritatingly cheerful as Billy, but was certainly equally as reckless. And she was also dangerous beyond belief. Machiavelli always worried that somehow he would accidentally step on a toe and get his head cut off, and he knew she never liked him. Which is when a great idea of how to get into the Shadow's favor got in his head. _Aoife._ He was present at her wedding, at Billy's request, of course, and nothing you bring the Shadow greater joy than seeing her sister in this pathetic child's party. Finding Aoife of the Shadows wasn't going to be easy, but finding her husband, Miyamoto Musashi? His aura was easy to track by someone as well-informed as Machiavelli. And he was wearing the same suit he wore at the ceremony. He knew it wasn't a strong connection, but he could try to scry with it.


End file.
